Life is never complete.

What I'd say is, this is how you feel like when you've been wanting something for so long and finally you get a spark of hope and then you lost it. I've never wanted something this much. Never ever. I cry so easily when I'm frustrated and sad. Which is how I feel almost every day now. The other I was thinking about this and mum was scolding me and I lied to her saying that I was stressed about the 30 hour famine thing. But really I'm just really sad a disappointed I don't get to go to Australia next year. Mum said something about I don't need to go to university. Why not????!? I want to go. Singing is my plan B, I want to do something else. Maybe singing can be a hobby thing. So yeah, I told mum before that if she never wanted me to go to Australia then Tell me straight away, so I don't get my hopes high but yet she says she'll think about it. Guess what I heard her telling her friend over the phone? She said no, not in these few years at least. If only mum could give me one year, okay, one semester. If I'm not doing well, I'd willingly let her take me anywhere. I actually think it would be much better if I go to Australia. I can get a job and pay for my own spending. And I bet anything that the bond between my parents and I will be stronger if we don't see each other more often. Because seeing them everyday makes us argue abut stupid things and sometimes when mum is in a bad mood she scolds me for stupid reasons and I would be so mad. That wouldn't happen if we Skype. Cuz we will be missing each other which will make us even more appreciate each other. Plus, sometimes mum tries too hard to be in my bubble. I might not be an adult but I'm old enough to think. Being a teenage really sucked. Nobody treats you as an adult but expect you to act like one. And our thoughts were never taken seriously. In my 15 years of living I have never wanted anything more than this. And as long as I'm not there, I would be like this. I couldn't help it. I just couldn't make myself happy.

One Hundred Sleepless Night. ♥

One Hundred Sleepless Night.♥

23rd December 2012♥

Road trip from Beachport back to Mt Barker today.
it was 39 degrees, which was scorching hot. /_\
we came back and I actually did something useful.
I helped dad mow the lawn.
I freaking mowed the lawn. :O well just a part but still.
it was harder than I think :p
and then we went out to have dinner.
we went to 'Legacy of India' at the Mt Barker Central.
and then dad missed Coles so we have to go to Woolworths to get his hairdye so he could dye it before Christmas :P
then the highlight of this post happened.
I. FUCKING. SAW. ZACH.
I'm not 100% sure but something tells me its him
the way he walks. the way his blond hair still look the same.
if THAT wasn't Zach, then they have no difference except for the eyes. it changed a little bit. looked different :O
Dad reckon he's a foot taller. hah :p
he was sorting out his stuff at the trolley place outdoor with his friend/boss when we were looking for a park.
then we i got off the car, he was still in his flourescent yellow high visibility work shirt when he get in the passenger seat of the white working van. (YLJ 869) not meant to be a stalker i just remember.
He was just one car away from us at the right.
dad got down and say, "Hey, look. It's Zach!"
I'm like, I KNOWWWWW!!
and I'm like, but that doesn't look like the boss he work for last time?
dad was like, he probably work for another guy?
it was just so magical.
but this wouldn't happen if dad didn't miss Coles.
imagine seeing your dream guy after exactly one year.
It's really hard to believe.
this entire year I didn't live one day without thinking about him. even though I'm just another stranger to him.
I believe in fate and if it's not meant to be,
please let this fairytale live forever..♥

Took one look & you stole my heart <3

30.11.12 (fri)

yeah today was pretty chill. :p
this morning right after my shower while I was applying eyeliner,
this Zach-looking towel boy came in.
I was definitely shocked.
he looked a lot like Zach, except Zach has shorter and ligher blond hair.
the second time he came in without knocking and I was standing right by the door.
all I can say is I don't look good with that expression.
went to Queens Victoria Market today. nothin much for me tho.
and then later in the evening we went to Williamstown to have dinner with Greg, one of my dad's working partner, at a bar.
There is this lady at the bar, she go there almost everyday for the past 50 years of her life.
she is now 80+ . they have a sign there for her saying 'Betty's Corner'.
while I was saying hi to Betty. This brunnette waiter went like, 'hey how are you?'
I wasn't even prepared. omg i look like an idiot.
I was like,''Oh I'm good thanks." and i was really soft.
His son, Edward, threw up at the bar before we even started eating..
so this poor cute brunnette have to clean up after Edward XD
which was funny to watch him.
anyway, it was a good meal.
Edward's a really cute kid haha. too bad he went home early.
PEACE-and-OUT. <3

beach & boys B)

beach & boys B)

29.11.2012 (thursday)

as i said yesterday, we went to the beach today. B)
it was awesomeeeeee :D
it was 38 degrees outside it was literally burning but when we got in the water.
it was unbelievably cool . so yeah.
wanted to tan a bit but the UV is too strong over here it could cause cancer so I was forced to put on sunblock so I see no difference..
anyways, it was a great day.
it was really hot.  ALL DAY LONG.
yeah thats pretty much it. :D

PEACE OUT HOMIES.

My love for you was bulletproof but youre the one who shot me. </3 :)

So, hey guysssss!
i havent been posting for quite a while but who cares? nobody reads anyway..
so yeah, today we drove down from Bright(somewhere near my dad's farm)
we rent a holiday house there which was pretty awesome.
yeah so we came back to Melbourne to drop Paris & Sophia(step siblings) at the airport
then we checked in to our serviced apartment at St Kilda.
I reckon its pretty awesome here.
its kind of a city place with all those cafes & bars. I like it.
5 minutes drive to the beach. B)
we went there for a walk this evening.
we went on the jeti.
there was this good-looking boy probably 14 or 15.
look a lot like Joel Goncalves.
he was wearing a blue tee and cycling around.
I kind of smiled at him and he smiled back.
when he smile back that was like, idk. it was too hot. hmm? XD
okay, enough of boy stuff I get starstruck easily ._.
and yeah, just beside the jeti there was this nest that penguins live and all those people are there to wait for the penguins to come back.
I was thrilled. I love penguins. idk why tho. they're cute :P
so yeah, we waited for an hour or so but we could only see the baby penguins that stayed in their nests.
those big ones werent back yet.
so we went to coles and did some grocery shopping and came back.
so freakin excited to go to the beach tomorrow tho!
it pretty much looked like LA. :p
gonna get a tan even tho im already tan.. ._.
PEACE, I'M OUT.

IT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. :O

IT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. :O

#Day 10
30.08.2012 :')
started 21:13 (ADL time) 19:37 (MAS time)

ONE DIRECTION TWITCAM DAY

BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. <3
Harry tweeted: Might do a twitcam in a bit..
and then i waited on his twitcam page for like 2 hours.
before the Twitcam even started, theres already 43K viewers. LOL
then he went said the Twitcam would be doing on One Direction's account. -,-
and they also tweeted:''twitcam.livestream.com/bta9u - here we go ...all of us are here''
so i went there and they said it was unable to load so i kept reloading and reloading.
and i got in for God's sake. <3 :D
Niall was sitting so close to the cam omg. wearing snapbacks. (;
Niall, Louis, Zayn, Harry: *Strip Liam*
Liam: "It's not what it looks like!"
Zayn: "It's EXACTLY what it looks like!"
OMG THIS.
and Liam apologized for being naked. only Liam would do that.
anyway, the lads did that cause yesterday was Liam AKA Daddy Direction AKA Lee-Yum's birthday. :P
they completed me. <3
this is the first time i've seen them on Twitcam.
the last time Niall did a Twitcam, it was in the middle of the night and i'm already off to sleep. :(
Niall also tweeted: Thanks for watchin the twitcam!
oh please, we'll be rollin on the floor cryin if we missed the twitcam.
anyway, this is just an awesome experience that I can't even believe.
*pinch arm* ow! *pinch face* ow! *pinch leg* ow! *punch eye* OW!
Okay, im not dreaming, but I'm going to be dreaming soon!
bye guys, gotta go. :) nightttt ;)
PEACE OUT.

OH BTW, @j_brookez RT-ed me OMG. He's from the XFactor AU. absolutely cute. trying to get Joel Goncalves to follow but he don't go on Twitter that often so.. :(

sorry that was small cause its small anyway. (omfg whaaaa???)

Lie awake just to convince myself that this wasn't just a dream.. ;)

Lie awake just to convince myself that this wasn't just a dream.. ;)

#Day 7
26th August 2012

you guys are starting school tomorrow but I'm still here in Australia, you jelly? haha XD
now I'm at beachport. 5 hours drive from Mt Barker.
stopped at Penola to have dinner in Royal Oaks Hotel.
the waiter is so cute! omg
a black polo shirt and faded jeans. O.O
he's a brunette, which is funny cause I always see blond guys. tbh
my dad joked when he was collecting the plates.
Cute waiter: Did you enjoy your meal?
Dad: oh no, we hated it but we ate it anyway.
Cute waiter: sorry the food wasn't up to ur standard.
I dont know why i took it seriously, probably because the waiter's look was too serious..
Me: He's just joking.
i wanted to slap myself for saying that. AHHHHHHH!
i should've banged my head to the wall.
his teeth was a little crooked when i see him from the side.
but in a cute way (; [like Niall! too bad he had braces now :( ]
anyway, about beachport!
worst place to be in!
Penola would be a huge town compared to beachport. shoot me now.
here in beachport will be a lot of people during summer. cause its a holiday resort.
you can see why i'm so depressed now.
cause it'll be freezing by the beach. but dad said it'll be a warm day tomorrow. yes warm. not hot.
but here its wayyyyy better than malaysia cause i dont like the hot weather as much. :P
here if its in the afternoon, the sun and the breeze work just fine for me.
i dont have to be here if it isn't for dad cause he has a project to work on.
oh well, gotta go. I'm addicted to Twitter. see ya!
PEACE, I'M OUT! :)